Famous Movie Wise Men Who Were Totally Full of Shit. And how in the hell was Batman supposed to apply this advice to his situation? Take out the Joker by torching Gotham? Just detonate that building he was holed up in during the climax? Then we have the other fatherly guiding hand in the Batman reboots, Lucius Fox. He's played by Morgan Freeman, who you may remember played a wise old prisoner in The Shawshank Redemption; a wise old President in Deep Impact; a wise old Civil War soldier in Glory; a wise old detective in Se. God in the Almighty movies: He started his career as a wise, old Easy Reader.↓Continue Reading Below.

Lucius Fox: "You've taken my sonar concept and applied it to every cell phone in the city.. This is wrong." And later, "Spying on 3. Damn right! See, this is the wise man an obsessed Batman needs.

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One who'll put his foot down.."I'll help you this one time. But consider this my resignation."Ah, OK. Maybe not. See, Lucius has a strong set of moral guidelines he always follows unless they interfere with whatever he happens to be doing at the present time. We said before that Morpheus' line of reasoning was shared by every terrorist and war criminal, but Lucius' "I stick by my ethics except when it's really important" is what virtually every bad person in the world believes. Sentences like, "I don't lie unless I really have to," have as much meaning as, "I don't drink beer except for when I drink beer." Any time they feel the slightest like lying, they'll simply declare it a "really have to" situation. It's the same reason it's not OK for cops to fake evidence "when they're really sure the guy is guilty.""I really enjoy cotton candy, except when I don't."↓Continue Reading Below.

And the thing is, when you watch the movie you expect the "one- time" breach of ethics to blow up in Batman's face. After all, he spends the finale refuting the Joker's thesis that people are only good when it's convenient (the point of his whole "bombs on the boats" stunt), while actively doing something that proves the Joker right. So how this hypocrisy come back to bite Bruce? It doesn't! The "unethical" machine works, they catch the bad guy, then they destroy the machine while Lucius stands by and nods approvingly. Fetch Season 1 Episodes here.

Everything is fine again! And they'll never violate the civil rights of Gotham's citizens again! Watch The Tell-Tale Heart Download here.

A clan of evil rats overtakes a Manhattan department store and threatens to overrun the city.

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You know, until they really, really need to. You can read more from Dave at www. Want to write articles like this for Cracked, become internet famous and make actual money? Go here and say you want in.

No experience necessary. For more absolutely awful advice that has been doled out to the masses, check out The 5 Worst Sources of Advice on Television and The 2.

Worst Pieces of Advice Ever Published. And stop by our Top Picks (Updated 3. Swaim has really taken to him). And check out what some sports wise men would look like as beer, from our good friends at the Bleacher Report. Don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get dick jokes sent straight to your news feed.