Script - transcript from the screenplay and/or the Bill Murray army movie. Voila! Finally, the Stripes. Bill Murray army.

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Harold Ramis, John Candy, Sean Young, etc.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly. Stripes. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally.

You won't. hurt my feelings. Honest. Swing on back to Drew's. Script- O- Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

This is the Army. It's learning how to be a soldier. Last Episode Of Full House Take 2. And how to be much more. It's cold streams that chill your bonesand a hot meal to warm you up. It's softball and low bridges.

It's a hundred waysto prove yourself. This is the Army. If you'd like to be part of it,call this number. That's my philosophy. I don't think I've ever. Thank you so much.

I got a nice, warm cab right here. Let's go. City centre. Hey, let's go, man. Thanks for the ride, pal. God, I thought that was a dog. If that's humour, don't bother.

Stripes Script taken from a transcript of the screenplay and/or the Bill Murray army movie.

I want to be taken to the airport. Be very careful with the bags. Don't scratch them. Would you be careful with those? Madam, perhaps you'd like. I'm in a hurry. . Oh, my balls. Oh, my balls.

This is Basic English. My name is Russell Ziskey.. I'm gonna be your instructor. I want you to call me Russell, and I'm. I would have a tough time. Okay, I know you're anxious to jump.

English.. . .. but there are a couple of things. I need to know first because..

I've never done this before. So how many of you would.

English fairly well.. A little English?

Yes, you speak some English? Son of bitch. Shit.

Son of bitch. Shit. I've never gone this way before. I'm sure there's a lot of ways.

I've gone that you haven't. What is your name? John Ringer? What kind. Ringer? . Winger. I'm adopted. . I spent most of my life. Doesn't surprise me.

You look like. a typical lowlife character to me. Actually, I'm a photographer. I took this job because I love people. There's nothing I enjoy more than. I drive. . Will you stop?! Turn around! Watch.

Stop with the pictures! Thank you so much. Aren't you going too fast?

No, it's not the speed. I just wish I hadn't drunk. We're going to be killed! Just keep your hands on the wheel! Not killed! Not killed!

You should have your license. I am going to write. G- E- R. . . And that's all you'll ever be. Well, that hurts, ma'am. And I don't think. I want to take your abuse. I know I don't want to take you.

How about that, huh? Hey, move that cab, buddy! Hey! You can't stop. Would you get back in the car?! Okay. That's really very good.

I'd like to try just one more time.. Okay, great, great. All right, we'll see you next week. We'll learn some new tunes. We'll have a great time. Bye- bye. . . . - Instant Finance.

You're late on the payments, pal. John, is that you? Did you remember to get my dress? Hi, baby. You're home.

How was your day? I got you a pizza too.

I had a real bad day. Yeah. Yeah, I bet you did. I just can't take this anymore.

I know. I gotta straighten out. This is ridiculous. Watch Instructions Not Included HDQ. That's what you said last week.

You know, how much can you. It hasn't been a week, John. It's been six months. Nothing's changed. You sleep in till noon, then. Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Then you drive your cab. Tito. Puente albums until in the morning!

Tito Puente is gonna be dead. I've been listening to him for years. He's fabulous.". .

Then you watch movies until dawn. You don't think that takes energy? You're a sexual dynamo. Most guys couldn't even. I've been reading books on the outside.

I can keep up with you. It's not funny. . You're going nowhere, John. It's just not that cute anymore. It's a little cute.

Come on. I'm part of a lost. What, you want me to run. Watch Man Without A Star Online Hoyts. Senate? . I don't know what I want. I just know that I don't want you. So the basic problem is.

I'm still around? Where's that sharp knife. Anita! . . . I knew that wasn't. John, no, it's not gonna work. I like you, but I need something more. I need somebody who's gonna. Goodbye. . - Who could grow more than me?

Talk about massive potential. I am the little acorn.

All the plants are gonna die! And then depression set in.

What's the matter with you? Nice shot, John. . Need a little help. Hey, can I take your last beer? We'll split it. . I've had an interesting morning. In the last two hours..

I've lost my job, my apartment.. You still have your health.

Hey. Yes, thank you. Toss that up here. Yo. Here we are, my man. All right, come to papa.

Toss that thing. Let's go. The Army can make you feela lot of ways: - Tired, challenged, trained and proud. This doesn't look bad. What, the Army? . You're kidding. . No. I've always thought. Army. . Bullshit.

You're not the type. What do you mean. I'm not the type? I've seen the kind of guys. Army. . I saw them when I was working on. They're like us. . Except they're not as sophisticated.

Yeah, they're not as old either. I bet you can't do five pushups. I can do five pushups. Okay, let's go. Five good ones. Not Marine pushups. No, simple pushups. I've never heard bones.

You ought to. . Let's go. There's a time limit here. He's almost set. He's eyeing that rug. And that's one. All right.

He's off. . He's moving now. That's two. . Not that good though.

I think you're ready. Special Olympics.

I was testing you. And here goes five.

Will he do it? . Congratulations. You just doubled your money. I gotta get in shape. I gotta dry out. or I'll be dead before I'm .

The Army's my only chance. You could join a monastery. Did you ever see a monk get. So much for the monastery. Thanks for splitting it. You're welcome to stay. Pretty much got. that roach problem licked.

I'm going Army. . You've got some warped idea. Army. . You think it's like a health club.

I go in the Army, they turn my body. They make me a black belt. I'll come out a human killing machine. I think we should go. California again and pick fruit. They give you money.

Borrow all the money you want. Will you shut up about the Army? You borrow the money. Winnebago. . They ship it anywhere you want. You get lots of travel. Kathmandu, guaranteed. Yeah, dysentery guaranteed.

I'll be over there in Nepal. They'll all be hitting on me. Chinese. off our backs.

We appreciate it. Is there anything we can do for you? Oh, and by the way, handsome.. Winnebago.". . You figure it out. You ever heard stories about. Nepalese people? . They'll probably teach me to levitate.

A black belt who can levitate. With a Winnebago. Check, please. . I can see you've got this all.

You're nobody's fool. John. . I'm falling apart here. All I've got are a lot of bad habits. I need some heavy discipline. You know who would be incredible. Get out of here, I'd hate it. You would be, man.

You could go right into Intelligence. I'm not going in. You could be a commander. You could probably be a general. I mean, Charles de Gaulle was.

You're smarter than him. That guy was like a member. I ought to run right down there. Well, I was gonna go over there. We could use your car.

We'd have to, wouldn't we? Hey, this is a loading zone. You can't park here.

We're not parking it. We're abandoning it. I can't believe we're doing this.

Listen, if I get killed. Just don't get it on my shoes, okay? I'm not saying that the Army will be. All I'm saying is you get out of it. Now, sometimes the Army's. There's some questions I have to ask. They're a little personal.

Have you ever been convicted. That's robbery, rape, car theft. Never convicted. . That's good. Good. Are either of you homosexuals? You mean, like, flaming or..? Well, it's a standard question.

No, we're not homosexual. Yeah, would they send us. I guess that's no on both. All right, now if you'll just give. Uncle Sam your autograph here. Sammy, get well soon.".

That's good. Now your name. Can I talk to you for a minute? I was wondering if you.. No, man, I'm not. Well, I was wondering if you could.

What, are you smuggling furs. Excuse me. General Hansen? No, I'm not a general. I help you? . Yes.

I want to thank you. Vietnam. . - I don't think that was me. You're right. It was Normandy Beach. I was shot up pretty bad.

You grabbed me, pulled me. I don't think so and I don't care. I don't have the time.

See this arm band? MP. . Stands for military police. Are you on one of these buses? Not yet, ma'am. .

My job is to see that.

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